For this 19th edition of The Distillation, my intention is to support the awakening of your inner game and intrinsic joy.
For years, I’ve been playing around with the idea that Life is a game.
As much as I knew I wanted to energize that idea, I kept running into resistance and challenges.
The resistance looked like “trying hard to be playful”.
It also looked like “being serious about approaching life in a playful way”.
While good intended, I kept missing the mark.
To be fair, that is part of the journey too, trying.
Eventually, something happened and breakthroughs occurred.
I guess my mind needed some understanding on it. And for whatever reason, I was hardheaded enough to weather the challenge.
That resilience allowed me to begin to articulate it.
Through my exploration of this topic, I began to “organize” my perspective on it.
Simplify it as best I could (for now).
Read further to find out what I “discovered”.
The (external) game I’m referring to is the collective Infinite Game.
All of us humans on the planet are playing. Many playing finite games within.
I share more about the Infinite Game in a previous Distillation.
Within this Infinite Game, there is an inner game we play with ourselves.
It’s a “secret” game that most others don’t know we're playing. Often we’re actually blind to this inner game.
In unhealthy ways, it can look like following rules or goals (games) that society feeds us.
We’re programmed to desire a certain kind of life.
Our inner game has been hacked. Someone outside of ourselves has overwritten the code.
This unawareness is okay, no need to judge it. It’s part of the process.
The illusion is that we think this inner game is played outside of ourselves.
Simply put, this inner game is intrinsic joy.
Enjoying the journey for its own sake.
Not to “get anywhere”, but rather realizing the destination is the Present Moment.
Accepting life as it is and surrendering to the gift.
You don’t need others to feel joy.
Often, leaders like us seek to support, elevate and help others.
But what happens when you’re all alone in solitude?
Are you able to feel intrinsic joy, without the dependency of others?
I’m not saying we need to cut out people at all.
But there is an intrinsic joy that will never be reached if you are always reliant on others for your joy.
Essentially, this is a process of enjoying the process.
This joyful internal orientation will eventually be reflected in the external.
Once you have a strong foundation of intrinsic joy (by yourself), it’s a great time to connect it to the game outside yourself.
This alignment of internal and external can happen organically.
Imagine: being yourself, radiating joy as you walk through life.
The “right” people seem to effortlessly attract to you.
This connection is important to become aware of. It doesn’t take much, but issues can arise if you’re not careful.
Have you ever experienced giving, giving and giving to someone? And not getting anything back in return?
Doing things for the sake of helping others (because it’s what you "should" do).
But eventually you drain your batteries.
Intrinsic joy is your bountiful supply of energy. And when you have plenty of energy overflowing, it’s easy to be of service.
A part of participating in the infinite game is being of service to others.
Which is better: being of service with something you absolutely love doing?
Or being of service with something you deeply dislike doing?
Which one will feed you more energy?
Which one will bring you deep satisfaction?
Which one will you keep doing in the long term?
Sure, sometimes we gotta do the tough things.
But if we’re gonna welcome an aligned way of life, we can become mindful of this connection between inner game and infinite game.
Being of service isn’t the only way we play along with others in the infinite game, but it’s one that can bring fulfillment to our lives.
No one can tell you what your inner game is, but many can guide you on your path of self-discovery.
It’s a game of experimentation.
Playing around and seeing what feels like fun.
Intrinsic joy emerges when you’re not trying or thinking too hard about it.
You become fully immersed in it, in a state of flow.
Looking back at when you were a kid can give clues.
Identifying activities you get lost in can also point you in the right direction.
Here’s a thought experiment: if you spent 2 weeks secluded in a cabin in the woods, what would you do to have fun?
Write?
Walk around in nature?
Create some art?
Play (or listen to) some music?
Something else?
Can you not only be comfortable by yourself, but can you actually spark true joy by simply doing something you like?
For its own sake.
Even if no one ever saw or became aware of what you created or did.
If you don't like the cabin example, where would you go to experiment like this?
I know, this isn’t how we live life in the real world. But this can help illuminate some things about ourselves.
And if your inner game is playful and joyful, how do you think you’ll show up in the world?
This week’s action steps are fairly simple.
That’s it for this edition of The Distillation.
Wish you a great rest of your day!
With Joyful Sovereignty,
Lane
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